The Message Gets More Clear: A Rumination On David Essex-”Rock On”

     The debut on the radio was in the very early part of 1974.  The timing of the song, like so many more I’ll speak of during this year, was impeccable as far as my life was concerned. 

     The bass and the reverb which one hears at the beginning of the song took a hold of me and got my immediate grabbed by the neck attention.  And as the song unfolded, I thought to myself that it felt like David Essex had been secretly witnessing my life and my dreams and that he was singing those very dreams of mine back to me through the two speakers jammed up against my left ear on the floor of my bedroom.  It also felt as if he was clearly defining my whole life’s philosophy in words and what was to come.

     The first hint of my transitioning from being a child into becoming a teenager came with the haunting lines which still reverberates frequently as as I march forward.  “And where do we go from here?/Which is the way that’s clear?/Still looking for that blue-jeaned baby queen/prettiest girl I ever seen/See her shake on the movie screen-Jimmy Dean”. 

     I fell in love with the song.  Simultaneously, I learned to fear it as well.  This was a first for me.  This song and the immortal lines set out what was to be for me what has been the rest of my life up to this very moment.  This song may have been the one which drew the line of demarcation with the subconscious announcement (only to be clearly deciphered at least two decades later) in my mind that I had better enjoy 1974 and soak it in with all of my ability to take in what I held dear to me.  My changes and chaos were coming.  That reverb was not soothing.  It was menacing.  My sense of how I defined my rebelliousness was meeting straight on with the reality of how the course of my life was going to be charted out. 

     I didn’t know about the word paradox back then.  But the weird sensation I felt deep within myself over this song made it imperative that I pick it up and make it my own.  You take a song you love and you learn to understand why it makes you feel fear.  That was a first as well.  And then you learn to grow with those fears.  The fears no longer become monsters.  They become what you are striving to find.  Are they monsters?  No.  They are the obstacles which get in the way of what you are trying to get.

     Sometimes a song comes along which makes you realize some new fears.  As you recognize those new fears, the old ones begin to fade away.  I didn’t know what was going to happen to me prior to my last angiogram.  Some fears of mine hadn’t gone away yet.  But the song quickly grew into a part of my identity and gave me something to hang on to when I got to San Francisco.  And when the procedure was over with and I got the news that I could do what I wanted to, some old fears were replaced by some very new ones.  What still scares me is that some of those newfound 1974 fears are still with me to this day. 

     I can chart back my loneliness and longing for female companionship as far back as the late Fall of 1967 or the First Quarter of 1968.  After the angiogram and as a result of hearing this song tell me so much about myself, my new fears were the same old ones.  The difference was that they came back with a sharper clarity.  It was in 1974 when I realized that my struggle was not going to be as easy to overcome-not by a long-shot.  Over the passage of time, the clarity of the struggle was going to become much more pointed, barbed and then outright razor sharp. 

     If there was ever a song which was made for me to take personally.  This was it.  I have learned about the context of this song and how it basically came about over the years.  People within the music industry were beginning to look back to the earlier days of Rock and Roll as the Glam movement was locking itself in pretty firmly in the musical landscape of the times.  1974 was to be the final year of my personal sense of forward progression from the medium which had influenced me the most-AM radio.  I had no idea that I was about to simultaneously leap from one format and into another and taking the leap into another phase in my living.  The timing of both would become very profound to me then and even more so when I became an adult. 

     David Essex was, in essence, telling to me to deal with all of the shit I was going to deal with ahead of me in the same way that I had been doing before.  Rock on.  Rock on proud.  Rock on with stubborness.  Rock on with rebelliousness.  Rock On when when anybody or anything stands in your way.  Just don’t forget to Rock On.  I was to Rock On no matter what kind of music I was listening to in the ensuing years.  I was to Rock On no matter how many people would come and go in my life  It was Rock and it would keep me going.  It would keep me wanting to not let go of the prize I strove for. 

     This song sounded so big on KFRC in San Francisco.  They had that big sound that no other station had.  When you combined it with the reverb that was already in the mix of the song, you could hear the sound of the attempt by so many forces to prevent me from finding that blue-jeaned baby queen.  David was describing my fight and he was standing there alongside me as a brother in arms. 

     Up until then, this song had a sound like no other I had heard before.  Hell, it may sound blasphemous to say, but this may have been my own first personalized alt./sound I heard.  And the thing is that this wasn’t going to be the only one for the year of 1974.  It was only the beginning.  It was a foreshadowing clue of a song.  It was my post-something song before I was to ever realize that I was in a post-anything state of mind and living. 

     The song told me that I was to hold on to my dream even if I was to have to do this alone.  There is music going on in the song in a very minimal way until the brassy chorus chimes in the middle section, but you felt like Essex was completely alone as he was singing it.  But I was to share that loneliness with him.  And as the years have gone on, that minimalistic approach to the song was to mirror the feeling having people I knew, for whatever reason, fall by the wayside to the point that I felt like I was doing this search all alone.  This has damn near come completely true as I type this right now.  I am now almost completely alone.  When I hear this song played on the radio nowadays or when I listen to it on one of my Rhino label Super Hits of the ’70s compilations I have, it comes back to me with the same torrential force as it did back when I heard it as it walked alongside among my thoughts, my dreams, the Bay Area fog and the people with whom I shared my life with.  My God!  There was so much more intensity to come and from some unexpected places.

Thinking About 1974

     1974 was the year where change was about to come about in my life.  During the second part of 6th Grade at the beginning half of the year, I had no idea that my childhood was inching ever so closer to the start of what I refer to as my true teenage years. 

     Our teacher, Susan Johnson was starting to miss chunks of school because she would get some nasty colds.  When this happened, Miss Moreno (the substitute teacher) would come in to take over.  I had a little bit of interest in Miss Moreno because she was a little more shapely.  She had some curves.  And, well you know, when you are at that age, a young guy’s mind gets active. 

     As far as music and my relationships with my classmates go, everything was still riding on the high from the Fall and the whole 5th Grade experiences of the school year before.  But a weirdness was beginning to creep in that I would only figure out with the benefit of years on hindsight.  The weirdness was change itself.

     To explain the changes, I have to take a moment to take you back to the Fall of ’73 briefly.  In music, I didn’t realize that a single by Eddie Kendricks was to be the first hint of change ahead.  He released the great danceable Soul hit “Keep On Truckin” then.  And then in the early months of 1974, he followed that up with “Boogie Down”.  Again, it was danceable Soul music.  It was different and in a lot of ways it was progressive too. 

     It was in the Spring of ’74 that my favorite craze was sprung upon the land.  It was even immortalized in a famous Ray Stevens song.  “The Streak” and the streaking craze swooped down from the liberated spirit of the ’60s and made its prescence known.  And I have to tell you, I loved the idea that you could possibly glimpse some naked girl running around without having to wait until I was old enough to walk into a strip bar like The Pink Poodle on Bascom Avenue. 

     I was going to need that kind of thinking in mind when I was to witness streakers for the first time because our class suffered through something that shook us.  The Spring of ’74 brought us the loss of Sister Regina Marie.  Our great knuckle your head buddy was hiding from us that she had a heart condition of her own that she wasn’t doing anything about.  She was always so concerned about me and my heart health.  I can still remember her having one of our P.E. teachers literally run laps with me and take my pulse as I was running.  She didn’t want anything to happen to me and she remembered when I was a baby and nearly didn’t make it with all of the open heart surgery and problems associated with it. 

     Since I had been a crossing guard, we had an assembly of the different schools doing drill presentations one evening and I’ll never forget the final time I saw Sister Regina Marie.  When we were done with the presentation (which I can’t remember where it was held), I will never forget walking side by side with her and seeing that she was as white as a sheet and walking very much slowed down.  The glow she usually had in her eyes was completely gone and she was talking in a very labored way.  Little did I know that she was going to die in just hours after I saw her.

     We were all at school one day when we were all suddenly called into the backyard of the refrectory next to the basketball courts.  It was a very lovely clear day and a ton of us were basking in the glow of knowing that school wasn’t far from ending for the year.  After we were all gathered and we were all setteled in, the news was broken to us.  I will never forget seeing the girls in my class react to the news.  It was like they got hit by a sledgehammer.  I looke around me and quite a few people were crying.  I felt terrible, but I was immediately thinking that I had made the connection to how she looked the night before.  And so, for the weeks we had left in school, we had to pick up where we left off and carry on. 

     There was an incident involving a book report that I’ll never forget.  I tried tackling Arthur C. Clark’s Sci-Fi book Rendezvvous With Rama.  I had a hell of a time with the book in trying to figure out what it was about and I couldn’t pronounce the word rendezvous.  I had picked the book up at the Lucky store that was a couple of blocks from the Camino house and I figured that it would be easy to read since I dug Star Trek and that I was really enjoying the Science Fiction Hall Of Fame books I was reading.  Well, I really messed up my book report.  Susan embarrassed me by telling me how to pronounce rendezvous in front of the class.  It was the first time that I ever really felt like I didn’t live up to a homework assignment (other than the math stuff which I always had increasing difficulty with).  It was this incident along with my lazy grades across the board which makes me think that it put the idea into Susan’s mind that Summer School was going to be a possibility for me.  Between that and the whole social element of how I integrated myself with others may have been a contributing factor which led to Susan making the decision to send me off to Wilson School for the Summer.  This was to be a big hammer blow to me and my feelings of freedom. 

     It was during this first half of 1974 when I got to really enjoying being around Chris R.  He and I were really into Star Trek (just like Bill R. was).  We began to start seeing each other after school occasionally.  It was Chris who taught me about Bruce Lee.  In fact, we went to see a Bruce Lee movie at one of the movie theatres in town.  It was a year after Bruce’s death and I made an immediate connection to Bruce Lee.  It wasn’t just the fighting thing which appeals to any guy at the age I was at, but I was picking up on the whole Eastern philosophy and how he carried himself even though I didn’t understand it and couldn’t really put any of this in words yet.  But he was a completely different kind of guy I had ever seen.  Plus, I remembered my fond memories of seeing him as Kato in The Green Hornet back in the ’60s.  I liked Kato even better than The Green Hornet back then.  I guess I always loved the minority guys who must have been translating into underdogs to me in some way.  I felt like one in a lot of ways even though I couldn’t express it in those terms yet. 

     The Oakland A’s started their run to their last of the 3 straight World Series Championships as school was beginning to wind down.  I was aware that a new season was starting and that I was going to get to go up to Oakland and see more games with my Mom and Dad. 

     In the Spring of ’74, two songs were to play a vital role in my going up to San Francisco with my Mom to be dropped off for a scheduled angiogram to determine the future of my life in a lot of ways.  My Diagnostician and heart specialists wanted to determine once and for all what started all of my heart problems.  I was scared.  I wasn’t worried about my life.  It was about sports.  I was told that this catherization was going to determine if I was going to be able to play contact sports as 7th Grade was going to be when I was going to be able to go out for basketball and even to play tag football again (which I did briefly in 5th Grade to great failure). 

     On the day I was to go up to San Francisco, I was dropped off at school to spend a couple of hours there as normal.  And then Mom came to see me.  Susan told me before I left that the class was going to say a prayer for me when I left. 

     And it was during the drive up and I had the radio on (it was KFRC the whole way up) that I heard Dobie Gray’s “Drift Away”.  The song spoke to me in a way I had never known before.  While listening to it, I realized some of my fears I had with the coming operative procedure.  It became the lullaby I needed to get through the other side of those very fears which invaded me.  I also remember hearing The DiFranco Family’s “Heart Beat (It’s A Love Beat)” and jokingly considering how appropriate it was this was a big hit at the moment.  I was hoping I was going to meet some hot nurse.  Instead, I got better than that, I met a very nice female doctor whom was married to the guy who was going to perform the angiogram on me.  I was going to pay for it.  Trust me! 

     When I got settled into my room in San Francisco, I was with a few other kids and we shared the room.  The kids loved that I started grossing out the nurses immediately when I began cracking my knuckles for them.  The nurse told me she didn’t like that I was doing that.  So, naturally, I kept on doing it.  I used to enjoy making the other kids laugh.  I think all of them were younger than I was.  I just wanted to feel like I was making their stay a little more pleasant. 

     When my Mom left for the night to go back to Santa Clara and told me she would see me when everything was over and I could go home, my heart sank in a big way because I loved her so much.  I got lonely very quickly.

     On the evening before my angiogram, I got to meet the female doctor.  She took me to a room where I was placed on a gurney so that she could listen to my heart and the murmer I had.  It was during this exam that something very unique and unexpected happened.  I swear before all of you that I did not consciously do this.  By the time it was over, I only then realized what had happened.

     She was listening to my heart as she was using her stethoscope and she was concentrating very intently.  I was very aware of just how quiet things were in the room.  As she was doing this, I didn’t realize that I had raised my arm up straight as she was leaning over me.  Even in my my most braggadoccio moments of brashness  (which was rare even for me), I still was in enough fear of women in a light, non-heated moment at this stage of my life when my modesty would always prevail very strongly.  You would have thought that the hand attached to my right arm which went up would have gone in an angle other than where it ended up.  I keep thinking that my hand should have gently landed on the side of her left cheek on her face or perhaps on her left shoulder.  But for some reason which still escapes me after all of these years, my right hand ended up right on her left breast and it stayed there momentarily.  Nothing sexual happened.  My hand didn’t move for a cheap feel or anything like that.  After the moment passed, I pulled my hand back and I was slightly stunned that she didn’t seem to even register that anything had happened. 

     I can still see her so clearly.  I still remember how she was a small endowed woman.  And I remember how all so quiet it was the whole time she was examining me.  Barely a hello or anything was said between us.  And then the exam ended.  I guess she was wanting to listen to that murmer of mine one last time before the angiogram the following day. 

     The day of the procedure arrived and it was an eventful one.  I can say this very safely.  When it was time for me to go into the area for it to be performed, I was wheeled in by an African-American nurse who did some prepping and then she just hung out with me while we waited…and waited…and waited.  Little beknownst to me was that, while I was stripped naked and laying under only a single sheet and feeling chilled because of the conditions, the Australian doctor (the husband of the doctor who examined me the night before) and my beloved champion and Diagnostician Saul Robinson were going at it head to head in full argument mode over how to go about finding what they were looking for. 

     When the Australian doctor and his wife finally arrived, along with a seemingly truckload of other doctors, nurses and observers (it really was cowded in there), I was thinking to myself about how I couldn’t wait for all of this shit to be over with. 

     Above me in corners of the room, I could see television sets which were to be the monitors for which I was to be able to see my heart.  I was kept awake for the procedure.  After I tell you about this next bit, you’ll understand why I wish I had been asleep instead. 

     The Oz doctor appeared to be numbing out my thigh and leg area with the xylocane (sp?  I think that’s what it was) without it hurting too much.  Shortly thereafter, I saw him with the tubing he was going to insert into the main artery in my leg which was going to travel up to my heart.  He opened up the hole to insert the damned thing into my leg.  And then he took the tube and tried to insert it into the hole which led into my artery.  Well, I screamed out in incredible pain.  And he’s asking me what’s wrong.  I told him I felt it.  Well obviously, he didn’t numb me out enough.  So, he pokes me with the xyolcane needle again numerous times and then tried inserting the tube in again.  It still hurt like hell.  He had to repeat the xylocane part once again.  Finally, I eventually got numbed out enough that he was able to insert the tube in without my feeling it anymore.  The thought never occurred to me that his wife might have mentioned about what happened the night before and that he might have been doing this for my accidentally touching his wife’s boob.  This wasn’t to creep into my head until many years later as a possibility. 

     This procedure was something to endure.  I was watching my heart on multiple black and white television screens.  It was really weird.  And then came the part where the doctors shoot colored dye into your heart to find any holes, etc.  If you have ever wanted to imagine what it’s like to be a volcano just before it expodes, then this is the very thing to help you imagine it to its fullest.  When they shot that stuff into me, the heat was incredibly intense.  I mean, I felt like I was going supernova and I wasn’t even in outer space.  I was just a prisoner of this operating table.  They told me I could sip some water.  I kept asking for more.  They only let me have a certain amount of it and that was it. 

     When that Australian doctor finally pulled that tube out, I was relieved and exhausted at the same time.  The crowd of people left and it was all over with as I was prepped to go into post-Op recovery with the kids who were sharing my hospital room with me.  I had to ride things out until Mom came back up to San Francisco to pick me up late in the morning. 

     The full time that I ended up being in that operating room for the angiogram added up to something like 4 hours.  It would have been a lot less if the argument hadn’t been doing on between the surgeon and my Diagnostician.  And you want to know something?  After the surgery, they apparently went after each other again with a full-blown argument over the results and the conclusion over what had happened to me when I was born and what caused all of my heart problems to begin with.

     When I was born, my patent ductus (the in the womb airflow regulator attached to my heart) did not fall off jsut before I was born.  It was supposed to.  Instead, it stayed on and was producing a thinning of my right pulminary artery (which was causing me to breath like a dog panting before my open heart surgery) for over a year. 

     They concluded that the right thing was done in getting the patent ductus lopped off of my heart during the open heart surgery.  They did not report any new problems after thorough searching.  

     Saul walked into the recovery room when my Mom arrived the next day and informed the both of us that he had a few big arguments with the Australian doctor.  He then gave me the news I was waiting to hear.  He gave me the clean bill of health.  He told me I could play any sport I wanted to and to go out and enjoy having fun doing so.  God Bless that man! 

     I will continue on with 1974 in my next post concerning my school days.

Thoughts About Margo, The Rolling Stones, Music & 1974 (Among Others)

-Margo Timmins and The Solo Album I Keep Thinking About:  O.k.  I’m going to start this section off with something which needs to be said straight upfront.  I am very sensitive to the idea that I could possibly get Margo Timmins of Cowboy Junkies angry at me in writing about the things I’m going to tackle here.  Now, I very seriously doubt Margo is ever going to read this.  But if somebody who knows her tells me that I should remove this post, then I will happily do so at her request even though enough time has passed that I think it’s o.k. to talk about this.  My promise stands though.

     I can’t stop thinking about it even though I have tried my damned best to put it out of my mind.  Hell, Margo and I have even spoken about this subject before.  Yet I’m still thinking about it.  It’s been on my mind for the past year.  Margo Timmins is extremely loyal to her brothers in the band.  She says that her brothers come first and that she would never leave to take part in a solo career.  I’m thinking in terms of her cutting a solo album just as wa way of saying that she made one and never regretting that she never did so out of curiosity. 

     There was one time when I was talking to her where I told her that I recalled a very ancient (during the ’80s) report in Rolling Stone Magazine that unnamed record companies were going after Margo in an attempt to lure her out of Cowboy Junkies to start a solo career and have the marketing aspects concentrated soley on her.  This was during the period of time where Margo and her older sister were beginning to be seen in various magazines like People where they were shown in fashion pieces.  Looking back on it, I think she was making some sacrifices and some compromises in order for the band to gain some visibility in the worldwide public in the wake of their truely remarkable breakthrough album The Trinity Session.  It got to a point where Margo was even mentioned as being one of the 50 Beautiful People (or women-I can’t seem to recall exactly) in People. 

     When I first got to actually talk to Margo face to face up in Portland about 5 years ago, I brought this whole thing up to her.  I asked her about it.  Was it true that there were record companies seeking to get her out of the band so that they could market her themselves?  She told me that, in fact, there were industry people who were making her offers to split from the band.  We discussed this a brief bit more and she basically confirmed to me that she was going to be marketed like she was a flavor of the month.  If you looked at it even more closely, you knew between the lines that she was really going to be marketed as the Alt/Roots Rock sex kitten of the month and that the companies in question were going to seek to see just how long they could keep this kind of thing going.  She told me that she just wasn’t going to do it and that she was still firmly against doing anything in an official capacity outside of Cowboy Junkies.

      Well, this subject seemd to have been laid to rest in my creaky little head for quite some time.  And yet, for some strange reason over the past year, it has popped back into my head as a subject and it has taken on a more serious nature.

     Here’s the thing.  I still want her to remain in Cowboy Junkies.  That should never waver.  But I have come to a point in my thinking (warped as it may be to some) that she should, before her career should come to an end someday, try to put out a solo album.  However, I would want it to be on her own terms and that she should not be marketed as the sex kitten of the month by whomever would handle getting the album made and distributing it. 

     Like myself and many others, she’s a huge fan of Bruce Springsteen and a lot of great music from the past.  I keep thinking about the great strengths she displayed during The Trinity Session and over the ensuing years when she did roots oriented material.  Her brother Mike has been charting the band into some great exploratory areas (especially Psyche) over the last decade which has been culminating with the very fine Nomad Series of four releases.  The first two of the series have hit me just beautifully.  The latest one, Sing In My Meadow, has not hit me in quite the direct sweet spot, but I still very much enjoy the album.  It’s just that I’m worried about Margo never getting back to the roots in as overt a way as The Trinity Session again.  This is where I’d love to see Margo do just one thing on her own as a way of satisfying a possible artistic itch whithout getting exploited and without destrying her relationship with her brothers.  

     I have, for the longest time, had this image of her cutting Gram Parsons/Clarence White Era Byrds-like tracks for somebody.  In fact, I have this great wish that she could get together with Chris Hillman, J.D. Maness and some great Nashville Country and alt-Country session people to cut an album.  I can no longer deny this to myself that I have these feelings about her.  On top of it all Springsteen has also worked with Chris Hillman and J.D. Maness during the same time period that the Tunnel of Love album was being worked on.  Those sessions have never been released. 

     The other thing which is playing a big role in my thinking about her cutting a solo album is that I have been thinking a lot about the evolution of her singing voice going as far back as the first album Whites Off Earth Now to when she started to open up her vocals starting with the Lay It Down album to the Margo who now goes back and forth with ease to opening it up or easing back into her incredible subtlety.  The fact that she has both at her disposal would make her cutting a roots oriented album all that much more potentially powerful and I would hope that an opportunity will not be lost if one should present itself.

     I am throwing this idea out there for the world to see because I am also worried about where I stand with Margo as a fan and extremely distant friend (in fact, acquaintances would be more accurate).

     The last time I saw Margo was up in Portland in October of 2010.  All of the previous times I’ve seen her, we were both very relaxed and comfortable with each other and I got no feeling that I was being a bother.  Our conversations, while brief, have always been nice ones.  She knows I’m in it for the musical angle of things and that it’s o.k. to talk about other things as well.  She knows that I consider her an equal. 

     But for some strange reason, that last Portland stop was a very strange experience.  I felt like things just did not feel right from the moment I stepped out of my car which I parked at my usual spot up at The Aladdin Theatre neighborhood and started walking towards the tour bus. 

     There was a kid otuside the bus who had been snapping photos of the band when I arrived on the scene.  When I got there, Margo and Alan Anton were stepping off of the bus and they both appeared to have very angry looks on their faces.  This threw me into some very private immediate confusion.  I did things the English way by carrying on with a stiff upper lip as if nothing was bothering me.  But there was something very off about her and I didn’t know if it was the kid who was snapping pictures (at one point he even had me take pictures of him with Mike and then with Margo).  I told the kid that I didn’t know how to take pictures witha digital camera as I had literally never used one up to the point where he got me to take the pictures.  He repaid me the favor by taking one of myself with Margo and sent it to me via e-mail. 

     In our short conversation we had, I told her about the terrible neighbor situation I was in and how I had my house up for sale.  This show was going to be my only performance respite of what was turning into possibly the greatest period of stress in my life I’ve ever been through and it was only going to get much worse before it was over.  It was to culminate with the loss of Sheba, my greatly beloved German shepherd, before I moved. 

     I was not involved with this guy who was taking pictures.  I never even knew he existed before when I walked up to the bus.  To this day, I don’t know if Margo and Al were directing their ire at him and/or me or if there had been a very heated discussion in the bus prior to the band leaving to head into the soundcheck and to get ready for the evening’s performance.

     I got into the show and I settled into my usual place at a Cowboy Junkies show and sat down way up front almost directly in line with Margo.  This is where I like to sit because I usually get great sightlines from this angle looking at what Mike is doing because he is the one directing the band.  The musical focal point, in my eyes, is Mike.  However, it is what Margo does which ultimately reflects the power of the show.  If she’s locked in with Mike, then I know she’s going to really nail things emotionally. 

     However, on this night, the strange vibe continued.  I was watching her and the band roll through about half of the show with no real hitch in evidence.  But it was just a little bit over the halfway point where Margo seemed to lose her concentration.  She started missing vocal spots (possibly cues).  At one point she screwed up the lyrics to one of the songs and she threw her head back and started laughing.  She did it once again and she mocked herself along the lines of saying “Oh, Margo!”  From there, the show didn’t seem to work anymore from my vantage point. 

     When the show finally ended and Margo did her usual meet & greet at the end of the show, I was waiting in a line of people waiting for her to come out and see people.  I had my head turned completely to the opposite of where she was going to come out to see people.  I was staring at the front doors of The Aladdin Theatre and I was daydreaming about wishing I had a girlfriend to help me get through this uncomfortable feeling I had wafting over me at this very moment.  Among the line of people I was among, I was about a quarter of ways down from being the first in line. 

     So imagine my surprise when the following thing happens.  I am standing there daydreaming about a lady and I’m waiting for her when, all of a sudden, I feel this hand grabbing one of my hands.  I was momentarily startled and I turned around and there was Margo.  She had cut in front of the 1/4 of the people who were ahead of me and headed straight to me.  I will never forget coming out of my being momentarily startled to see Margo shaking my hand with both of hers and almost forcefully telling me, “I hope everything works out for you and the selling of your house”.  I thaked her for the show she put on and then I told her about my enthusiasm for Highlife Music from Africa and if she had ever heard of the Soundway and Analog Africa labels because I wanted to pass along some good music  stuff for her to check out.  She told me that she hadn’t and I said, if she could remember, to check out some of the titles both labels carry because it’s great music from the old days that I think she’d enjoy discovering.  I stuck around and witnessed other people talking to her and telling her how great the show was.  I ended up with this incredibly weird feeling inside of myself which I still am having a hard time coming to grips with understanding just exactly what it was. 

     When I left for the evening, the seeds of my wondering if Margo doesn’t like me anymore was planted.  Honest to God!  If I did anything wrong, I didn’t mean to.  And I’m not going to turn into some kind of nut or something because of it.  I do plan on going to see them again.  I would like to talk to her once again and see if perhaps it was just an off night for her by seeing what kind of reception I get when I see her once again.  If it happens again and things are weird after this next time, I likely will not go to anymore shows of theirs-as much as I love this wonderful band. 

     I still have not framed the copies of the photo that I have of Margo and myself.  I look at it and she appears so uptight and stiff in the photo.  It’s the complete opposite of the Margo I’ve known over the last few years.  I have my own digital camera now.  I’ve only used it a few times.  I will take it with me and I hope she will be o.k. with taking a much more relaxed photo of her and I together.  I would be much more conducive to getting that one framed right away.  She wasn’t the one who saw me walking from my car about a block and a half away from the bus, spotted me from a distance, waved at me and as I was walking over in her direction,she reached out and gave me a hug.  When I go back to see her again, I hope that’s the one I’ll see.  I just want her to be successful and to be the same great Mom who happens to be a great musician too.   

-The Rolling Stones December Meeting & Thoughts About Wyman & Taylor:  I don’t know if the December formal meeting has taken place or not, but the first jamming session apparently has.  Bill Wyman supposedly joined in and played.  Mind you, I am not certain if this is completely true.  But if it is, I have to think that Mick Taylor may be holding back for a little bit before he makes the decision to take the jump into the proceedings.  I’m thinking along the lines that Wyman would get back to Taylor to gauge how the atmosphere is before making any commitments. 

     Another thought I have about Taylor is that he’s got to be wondering if he should do this so that he could leave some money for his (I think) two daughters he has.  He’s just got to make what is going to be the right decision for him and if he’s going to feel o.k. playing the old stuff with Keith again. 

     A big key in my thinking about all of these rehearsals is the fact that Keith was saying they were going to start out by doing Blues.  What I really hope is that the rehearsals makes them all get the Roots bug and want to cut a new album of killer Blues and R & B tracks.

     This whole waiting for Jagger to come along and join in on the rehearsals thing as well as thenew word that Jagger is the one this time around who may not be keen to go out on the road has got me to further wondering if any of this is real or if it is all part of the hype being built up for whatever is going to come out of all of this.  Live Nation, Ticketmaster and every promoter around the world must be jumping over themselves trying to figure out a way to make this turn into a tour.  If they get Wyman and Taylor involved in this, strip back the number of people onstage (i.e.-no extra background singers), no elaborate stage set-ups (What was it that Keith once said back in the ’70s?  It was something along the lines of ” Oh no!  Don’t tell Mick about elephants.  He’ll want ‘em onstage”.)

     This band is so huge and the elixer which surrounds them is so big that I’m also a little worried that there may be times when some of the hype can get to to them at times.  I worry that perhaps some of the possible imagined or purposeful drama queen scenarios might actually pop up.  I just don’t want them to get lost in all of this because this whole thing has the potential to be really exciting.  I can see a whole slew of marketing things and merchandise pieces coming out out of this is this is handled well.  It’s also an opportunity for the band to get back to doing what they do best-to be a Roots band. 

     I am just keeping my fingers crossed.  I really want Mick Taylor to come back.  It would be such a powerful thing to witness.  He may not be the same as he was when he was younger, but it would be redemptive to see on more than a few levels for all of us and not just him.  I could live with a three guitar attack from the Stones.   

-Universal and How They Deal With The Beatles Catalog:  Now that Terra Firma is going to no longer be involved with EMI, you have to believe that Universal is going to want to release some new Beatles projects since they are taking over the music and distribution aspects of EMI and Sony is going to want to rake in profits since they bought the publishing holdings of EMI. 

     We know that we’ve got possible DVDs on the horizon.  Magical Mystery and Let It Be may be looming.  You have to believe the people who worked on the Beatles remasters and are currently working on the McCartney solo Archive stuff are going to eventually get around to George Harrison’s stuff and also possibly put out a box set of unreleased material from his archives.  And then there’s at least two really good Ringo Starr albums which could use some remastering (Ringo and Goodnight Vienna). 

     So, I’ll just put it out there that there’s an audience willing to get Deluxe Editions of albums which include studio sessions from each work.  There’s also the possibility for re-mixed albums in which we can hear different elements of the music presentation while still having the material from the stereo and mono box sets to compare and contrast the mixes as they were originally presented to the public.  There’s also a lot more film and video footage which has yet to come to surface that a lot of people would like to see.  Over at the hoffman Forum, a lot of people are clamoring for a promo films DVD to be released. 

     And while I’m netioning The Beatles, I would also like it if the same people who have been worked ont he great Beatles mono and stereo boxes would also get to try their hand at working on The Hollies and the Herman’s Hermits catalogs and get those in definitive order.  As it concerns Herman’s Hermits, I don’t know how things could be worked out with ABKCO and Jody Klein as they own the American rights to their material.  Otherwise, would those of us int he U.S. be willing to pick up material as imports from the U.K.?  There’s already the I’m Into Soemthing Good box set which came out a few years ago, but who did the mastering on that set?  Is it the same people who would work on the mono and stereo box sets for The Beatles? 

     It’s going to be very interesting to see how things shape  up now that EMI has been bought out by Universal and Sony. 

-Wish For A Thorough, Definitive Rail Band Anthology:  Both Bob Marley and Jimmy Buffet loved this band from Mali.  They were huge in Mali and in Africa during the ’70s and the early ’80s.  There are a couple of 2-disc compilations that one can get of them.  I’m sure they are out of print now or are in danger of going out of print.  But I am putting out a plea to the Soundway and Analog Africa lables to please consider taking on doing a well annotated and chronologically correct, definitive sounding Rail Band Anthology of some type.  I’d even love it if a major label would take this project on, but I doubt they would want to touch it. 

     This is all a part of my great desire by Soundway and Analog Africa to reach out beyond the countries they’ve done so far (while staying in the same time period of the late ’60s to the very early ’80s-my preference is for up to the mid to late ’70s).

-Continuing Unquenchable Thirst For African MusicFrom The ’70s On Backwards:  Beyond the Highlife Music I’ve found, I’ve been discovering Congolese Rhumba, Afro-Jazz and guitar-centric music.  I just can’t get over what an incredible music scene was going on in the African continent back in the ’70s.

     I have been discovering stuff from before then as well.  I recently got a 4-CD box set from the Dust To Digital label called Opike Pende: Africa at 78 rpm.  The music covers a wide range of styles from many different countries going back to the ’30s up to the ’60s.  There’s material on here which will blow your mind for how beautiful the music is.  It just opens up so many avenues and it’s inspirational to know that this stuff was documented.     

-Initial Thoughts About 1974:  Likely The Year Which Influenced My Life The Greatest and How I Plan To Lay Out Why It Was So:  I am about to start my first initial forays into documenting the year 1974 in my life.  I have decided not to keep things strickly within the Grade parameters of school when I talk about it even though I will stay in chronological order for the most part.  I will do my Top 40 Playlists posts, but I plan on incorporating more music titles into my story to show just how ’74 seemd to be the big crescendo year for me and how I look back and consider it to be the final year of the ’60s. 

     A lot of changes occurred in 1974 and those changes had an impact that I still feel to this day because a lot of my attitudes (especially about music) sprung from the changes which sprung forth back then. 

     I will still write about current music things as it pertians to reissues, passings and news about bands I care about fromt he old days.  I will continue to post occasional personal posts about things when I’m feeling challenged or when things happen to me. 

-Random Notes:  I miss those times when I used to sing to Sheba a variation of the old Isley Brothers song “It’s Your Thing”.  I changed it to suit her by calling it “It’s Your Fang”.  She’d be laying down behind the front window of the Z house I had.  She’d be laying on her cedar bed I had laid out for her while she was waiting for the sun to caress her belly.

     I’d go over to her and I would start singing to her “It’s your fang/Do whatcha’ wanna do/I can’t tell ya who to sock it to/It’s your fang”.  Now, I’m not sure she even knew why or what I was singing about, but she used to be patient and let me do it.  Her patience was usually rewarded by the belly rub that would come afterwards.  And I know for a fact that she loved those. 

     I’ve still been going over to the church once a month to light a candle for her.  I will continue to do so.  I’ve had it in my mind that I need to do something really special for the one year anniversary of her passing in a few months from now.  I just can’t seem to figure out what to do beyond just the lighting of the candle. 

     The passing of Dobie Gray hit me really hard this past week.  I am really hoping that Bruce Springsteen will do another version of “Drift Away” in honor of him during the upcoming tour.  It would be very appropriate to do in light of the fact that he also lost his kindred spririt in Clarence Clemons.  If Bruce should decide to take horns out on the road with him to replace The Big Man, the song would be that much more easier to perform as well.   

     Based on some speculation over at the Hoffman Forum and the fact that Rolling Stone reported that Springsteen told Bob Seger that he has what is being described as an unusual album coming out, I am beginning to wonder if Bruce may be releasing an album which has a very overt Soul sound to it-especially ’60s Soul?  We’ll have to see.  Like I said in a previous post, I am still more concerned about where he goes lyrically in light of the times we are in right now.

     I think it’s o.k. to say this publicly, but the revelation by Steve Hoffman over at his board that there exists in the tape archive of The Rolling Stones early Chess Sessions of the band actually playing with Muddy Waters and Chuck Berry and the likely fact that we will never get to see this stuff get released by ABKCO (because the material comes under their ownership of the Decca/London material) is enough to make me sick.  Historically speaking, this would be incredibly significant stuff to offically release to the world.  Plus, it’s Brian Jones Era material.  This, in and of itself, makes it worthy of release and it makes me incredibly sad to think that this is going to continue rotting away unheard except by private listening parties.

The Great Evening Of Music Notes

     First of all, I apologize to people for being so late in working on another blog post.  I just needed to relax, listen to music and read during the interim of my birthday.  I needed something resembling normal considering I have some upcoming things happening next year.

     Anyway, before I dive in, I notice that a lot of people have been checking two old posts of mine from earlier this year when I immersed myself into writing bootleg series proposals for The Rolling Stones, Bruce Springsteen and various artists.  For those of you who don’t know, I wote those posts because I felt like I had needed to for a couple of years in some form online.  More importantly though, I wrote those posts specifically early this year because I was having to do something in the wake of the incredible sorrow I was going through after having put Sheba to sleep back in March. 

     I am writing this music post tonight for both people who have known me and for those of you who are members of the Hoffman Forum with whom I’ve come to depend on so much.  I hope I’m going to give both parties something at least slightly new to what I’ve been posting at the forum.  It is over here that I can really let loose a little bit more.

     -The Rolling Stones Official Bootleg Series Announcement:  It’s official now.  The Rolling Stones are now actually doing an official bootleg series.  This is a dream come true for me.  But I hope you guys are going to try to make every effort to get this series to go past the 6 shows number that has been bantied about.  This involves being very vocal about it on internet forums and e-mailing the new StonesArchive.com website about this.  Hell, I already threw in my opening salvo.  I wanted to know if CDs are, in fact, going to be a part of the equation.

     Look at this this way, people.  If the Stones have a tape storage facility that is the size of a football field, you’d think that there’s more than 6 shows in there which are worthy of release. 

     In my posts to the Hoffman Forum this evening concerning this announcement, there is one thing I’ve failed to mention.  Will this series be limited to just the late Taylor Era show (post ’69-’70) and Ronnie Wood Era or do Mick and Keith have a few tapes from the Brian Jones Era that they own outright that they can release on this series? 

     I am not going to pretend that somebody in the Stones organization read my bootleg series proposals (although I hope somebody did since it is known that music industry people do read the Hoffman Forum).  But I find it blatantly obvious that Jagger and Richards have known for years that fans have wanted the Brussels ’73 show to come out.  And now here it is that this is the very show that they would announce as being the first one in a bootleg series.  It also confirms to me that they damn well know what sections of  eras were their peak years and shows they performed that proved to the world they were the best band on the planet on a given night.  You can’t tell me they haven’t known all along.

     Is it really about the upcoming 50th Anniversary celebration that caused this to finally happen? 

     I’ll tell you what jolted me once again this evening.  It came 24 hours after the announcement of the series.  It was the comments from Keith Richards in an interview somebody kindly posted over at the Hoffman Forum that really made me sit up and take notice.  Richards has said he has put out the call to commence having Roonie and Charlie over to start working up their chops.  But it really hit me like a ton of bricks tonight in reading that Keith has put out the invitation to Bill Wyman and Mick Taylor to join in on the proceedings.  Where the hell did this incredible ray of sunshine come in to the world of The Rolling Stones in the last little while.  I haven’t felt this dreamy about things concerning the band and the representation of their entity since the ’70s. 

     There is a sense of some kind of healing and forgiveness coming over this band.  They say they are going to keep going until they drop.  Is this a new chapter?  Does this new chapter include Wyman and Taylor?  Or is it a foreshadowing sign of a finality? 

     We’ve spent so many years living through the “this is the last tour” horseshit that this new spin on things from Richards has my head spinning. 

     Let’s add another thing into the works here, shall we?  Producer Don Was is even lobbying for Mick & Keith to get started to working on Deluxe Editions of Beggar’s Banquet, Let It Bleed and Sticky Fingers soon.  Former manager, Andrew Loog Oldham is clamoring for them to perform only the best tracks and deep tracks from their best albums at any new shows. 

     With the release of the Some Girls Deluxe Edition and the Some Girls In Texas ’78 DVD only a week away, they are certainly not forgetting Ronnie Wood in all of this.  In fact, I find it very satisfying that they are releasing unrleased archive material from what many consider to be Ronnie’s best work on an album for the band a the best tour he ever did with them as well.  We are getting the best of a lot of worlds here and it’s hard to not come away thinking that this is somehow too good to be a true-a dream, at that.

     I’m not going to speculate about what could be the next show in the series.  I’ve already listed a shitload of stuff over at my old blog post for the series proposal.  You can check it out and see what I have listed there.  All I’ll say is that if material had already been released on an official live album, it shouldn’t come out.  A lot of those tracks, though worked on in the studio with overdubs, etc, it’s already ground covered.  In the case of Love You Live, don’t have them do the stuff from The Forum in Inglewood in ’75.  Let it be another strong ’75 candidate (like the Cow Palace shows in San Francisco like I mentioned in the old blog post).  And don’t let the very same Paris ’76 show be used for a series.  Believe it or not, the only exception I would make to this sort of rule is to release the entire El Mocambo-Toronto run from ’77. 

     This bootleg series though may be a sign of changes for me as well.  If they don’t put out CDs in this series, then I’m not going to ahve any other choice but to upgrade my computer, get a high-speed internet connection and invest in an iPod and a really good sounding (if it’s possible-a misnomer perhaps?) iPod docker to go with it. 

     You see, Mick and Keith are doing a wonderful thing here.  But if they stop at 6 shows, I’m going to end up eventually searching for shows from traders circles that I’ll want to download for myself to supplement what Mick & Keith have given me.  In this regard, they need to hire a full-time tape archivist to prep shows for download and eventual CD release through some kind of exclusivity deal through their own website and/or Amazon.  Between the whispers of the physical product landscape undergoing a radical change (at least here in the U.S. (my speculation by the way concerning the US of A) and the industry getting ready to go into specialized releases, there had better be a clear and well-thought out plan in place because I am counting on you music lovers out there to really be pushing hard for this series to live beyond the 6 titles initially being mentioned. 

     Somebody over at the Hoffman Board also mentioned something along the lines of a rumor of some sort that there may be a box set of unrelease studio tracks from over the years that’s going to be worked on as well.  If that’s the case, it’s got to be material from the albums which have not gotten the Deluxe treatment yet.

     God!  It’s just so strange how we have gone from me bitching about their never being any archive stuff to pick up at all to a flood coming at us.  Let’s put aside the arguements over the adding new vocals and some instrumentation to exisiting tracks like which was done for the Exile On Main St Deluxe Edition and for the upcoming Some Girls Deluxe Edition.  God almighty, people!  Let’s just enjoy this wave while we’ve got it.  And don’t forget to do your part.  A lot of us older guys want CDs.  Let them know, o.k.?

     -In Appreciation Of The The Past Years Work By The Sundazed Label:  The great Sundazed label has really done an exceptional job this year of giving us some great titles.  I am referring specifically to the run of great mono edition titles they’ve done.  It’s really a blessing to us all to have dedicated mono mixes of albums that so many of us listened to back in the ’60s.  For those of my old friends and acquaintances who are not well-versed, please let me explain why mono editions of albums are so revered. 

     Back when you were growing up back then, almost all of the albums you ever listened to prior to 1969 were in mono.  Not all of you were living in households with stero consoles and systems.  Most of the time, you were listening to music on a little system which had one speaker (usually one you pulled out of a box or was enclosed in carry-around unit).  Well, one speaker gave you mono sound.  Even if you played a stereo record on it, you were listening to something in mono.

     Records were mixed back then for two distinct markets.  You had stero LPs and then you had mono LPs.  Stereo mixes had their own mixes.  A lot of them were wide stereo mixes.  Have you ever noticed, while listening to a ’60s stereo recording why the sound is so separated?  That was part of the mixing process back then and it was a way of making people buy into the whole stereo concept.  There were narrow stereo albums as well. 

     But mono mixes, if they were dedicated mono mixes, were made with the one speaker in mind.  It was not designed to be wide.  It was designed to be packed with punch.  There were such things as mono fold-downs which were stereo mixes that were folded down to mono and with no variations in the mixes themselves.  The release of the Beatles albums in  he stereo and mono box sets are good examples of listening to the differences between stereo and dedicated mono mixes.  There are cases where mono mix might feature instruements lower or higher in a mix to maximize impact or a philososphical feeling about what a mono mix should emphasize.

     To start heading into the direction of Sundazed, let me ask you something.  Have you ever noticed the difference in how the song “California Dreamin’” from The Mama’s and The Papa’s sounds?  Back when you were living in the ’60s, you very likely heard the single on the radio.  The likelihood is that you heard a dedicated mono mix.  The version of the song you were hearing of the song back then made the middle flute part sound a little less out front in the mix and you got used to hearing that back in the day.

     Over the years, on Classic Rock stations and A.M. oldies stations, you likely loved revisiting the song.  As you were revisiting it, whether you heard it in mono or stereo, you very likely were hearing a version where the flute part in the middle was likely louder while everything else was more harsh sounding-including the fantastic vocals.  When you were listening to an A.M. oldies station, you were likely listening to a stereo mix folded own to mono.

     Well, Sundazed has taken the If You Can Believe Your Eyes And Ears album from The Mama’s and The Papa’s and restored the original dedicated mono mix which was considered the primary mix.  This is the way producers, musicians and many fans remember the album.  Sundazed has just released this baby in all of its original glory.  And it’s a keeper considering that many Mama’s and the Papa’s mixdown masters were destroyed.  Let’s hope Sundazed will reissue more of their albums in the original mono the way they were supposed to be heard.

     They have done marvelous work on other albums as well that are stereo mixes too.  The ones I’ve picked up speak for themselves and are gems.  There’s the new Strawberry Alarm Clock-Incense And Peppermints album which features a young Ed King on guitar.  Ed King would later go on to be in another little band and play a significant role in their first two albums.  That little band was later to become known as Lynyrd Skynyrd. 

     They have also released the John Mayall and the Bluesbreakers first album (aka-The Beano album).  I did not pick this one up because I have ther Steve Hoffman mastered Godl disc of the mono mix of the album.  But they also released the A Hard Road album (with a young Peter Green-later of Fleetwood Mac fame) and the Crusade album (with a young Mick Taylor-later of Rolling Stones fame) in dedicated mono mixes.  These albums are magnificent to listen to in mono and they make great complements to their stereo counterparts as you can tell differences between the two. 

     Back during the Summer, they also put out The Yardbirds-Little Games album which featured Jimmy Page in the sole guitar role.  The only unfortunate thing with Sundazed is that you don’t get bonus tracks, but the stereo CD reissue counterparts of these albums do have them on Deluxe Editions.  This does not hold true for the Mama’s and Papa’s album as, as far as I know, because I don’t believe there is a stereo version of the CD to be found.  I’m not 100% sure anyway. 

     As an aside, since I am hearing impaired (and musical cosniderations not withstanding and something of which I love to immerse myself into), mono mixes are definitely easier for me to listen to for obvious reason when I am using headphones.  Thanks to CD remastering over the years, I am able to listen to a lot of wide stereo mixes pretty much fine without straining to listen to parts wide  and low on the stereo horizon.  But there will still be some parts where I can’t hear much going on in that bad right ear of mine when I’m using headphones.  I do not wear my hearing aids when I listen to music through headphones. 

     So, anyway, you can support the Sundazed label and know that you are getting something that has been lovingly worked on. 

     -Gregg Allman Clears Some Legal Hurdles For Future Allman Archive Projects:  In the hoopla over a lot of news over the past few weeks, it almost got overlooked that Gregg Allman has apparently cleared some legal hurdles which is making it so that he is reissuing some old Allman Brothers titles-including one of the official bootlegs from the Duane Allman Era.  The news also mentions that it will also clear the way for more stuff which hasn’t come out yet to surface.  Anything involving Duane is cause for major celebration and it’s too bad that this news didn’t get more coverage than it did.  I am hoping Rolling Stone Magazine and others of their ilk will do some further reporting on what we can expect in the future.  Let’s hope that the unreleased Duane Years box set will finally see its way out finally.  It’s pretty much criminal that this material hasn’t made it out yet.  Start letting the people over at Hittin’ The Note to pass it along to Gregg that you want to start seeing more live shows and studio material from his late brother getting released. 

     Comment Or Two On The 40th Anniversary Box Set of Aqualung from Jethro Tull:  It is almost unanimous over at a couple of music forums.  The work which was done by Steven Wilson in subtley re-mixing as well as mastering the Aqualung album for standard CD and 5.1 mixes for the box (as well as Quad ) is considered possibly the best that has ever been done for the album.  As a side note, I should say that the Steve Hoffman mastered DCC disc of the original mix is still a great piece of work because it is the definitve edition of the original mix.  Not everybody knows that Hoffman was given something like only 3 days (yes, that little amount of time) to work on the album before he had to send the tapes back to Ian Anderson.  Given the incredible duress that Hoffman had to work under, the job he did on the disc becomes all that much more miraculous once you get the full picture. 

     Wilson has taken an album which has never been considered an audiophile’s dream and pretty much almost made it one.  The key ingredient is that he has added bass to the album when it never really had any in any form over the years.  The original LP never had any low-end balls and the CD reissues never had any either.  Wilson has breathed life back into this album. 

     People can debate over whether even a subtle re-mix is treading on sacred ground or not.  I don’t believe that its even the point.  Wilson did not take away from the original integrity of the album.  He has given it a stronger soul.  The sonic clarity brought to the album brings the ideas behind the songs into greater focus.  I heard lyrics I’ve never heard in detail before in this presentation. 

     So, ladies.  If you’re looking to buy box sets for your music loving husbands and you have 5.1 capabilities on your A/V systems, I seriously doubt your spouses or significent others will be complaining about this box of they are Jethro Tull fans. 

     And by the way, in looking through the book in the box, I never knew that Tull had played up in Corvallis at Gill Coliseum in October of ’70 before the album came out.  It was a tour where they were beginning to perform some of the songs off of the album before it was released. 

     -John Prine-The Singing Postman Delivers:  If any of you people love great songwriters, then you definitely need to pick up a new archive release from John Prine which just came out called The Singing Postman Delivers.  This is prime (as in best era of his career) Prine as you will ever find.  Why this thing only got a 3 and a half star rating in the latest issue of Rolling Stone has me baffled.  It is 2 -discs of pure bliss.  Maybe they docked it because you get some song repetition? 

     What you get from this album is directness by way of a radio studio recording in Chicago and a live gig that was taped by John himself and was sotred away in his garage for all of these years until his wife made him clean out the garage and he managed to uncover this little lost treasure.  Both the radio studio cuts and the live stuff are from 1970 and from before John cut his first album.  And let me tell you something.  It sounds as fresh as it must have been to witness him back then.  The versions of “Sam Stone” on these two discs alone will tear your heart out.

     I had the great honor of seeing this guy perform on a double bill with Cowboy Junkies back in 1992 when they were touring together.  The man kept me riveted.  the beautiful thing about his brand of songwriting is that he manages to find the simpler things in people which lead a path to the profound.  He’s got this uncanny ability in this regard.  He makes us see the parts of us that we have a hard time seeing a good chunk of the time.  This release will make you appreciate this gift of his he has.  I’m not terribly fond of CDs in slip-cases, but that’s a reality in this day and age of eco-packaging.  I prefer trays.  But this is great stuff to own.

     Anyway, I’ve spent a good chunk of my write hammering out this long post for all of you.  I will get around to writing about my old days again.  It’s just that this 4th Quarter of music has caused me to be thinking about a lot of music issues.  I have a FB friend who has inferred to me that I should never write about the experiences I had on the Tunnel of Love Express Tour of Bruce Springsteen back in 1988.  She says that those people aren’t worth thinking about again.  She has a point.  But if I don’t tell that story someday down the line, you may not understand some of why I have turned out like I have and what has been a part of the growth in life. 

     I hope this stuff didn’t overwhelm you.  But music is my life.

Fragments of 50

     I hit 50 years old today.  All those years ago, during my parent’s darkest days, they were told I wasn’t supposed to make it.  I wasn’t supposed to be alive.  Yet I am still here. 

     This isn’t to say that there haven’t been times during the intervening years of survival of the damnest rebel hellions such as myself when I stayed totally out of the woods.  The pre-IBS diagnosis scare when I was crapping out all of the food I was eating and losing weight scared both me and my Mom to great lengths. 

     I nearly got beaned in the temple by a foul ball at Civic Stadium back in the ’80s when I worked as an usher for the Eugene Emeralds.  I felt the air go by me even though I had my head turned the other way. 

     I have suffered great pains of losing close ones.  The death of my Dad was a deck clearer.  I have lost many animal friends which have caused me great heart pain.

     I have had colds that seemed to take forever for me to get over. 

     I have endured a run since 1996 of long-term stress of being in bad apartment situations and then the famous Z house situation of 16 neighbors in 12 years of my living there.  I endured the last terrible neighbor I had who was a meth-head and complete jerk.  My health was giving out during the attempted selling and eventual sale of the house.  And then the worst part was losing Sheba-my trenchmate through all of the shit. 

     I have even survived my own self.  As I have said before, I came very close to committing suicide in April over losing Sheba and the stress of wondering if I was going to get out of that hell-hole or not. 

     I have now moved and I’m still dealing with the stress of it. 

     And yet, on this this day of my 50th birthday, I’ve been having thoughts about Sheba and my Mom run through my head all day. 

     I can see the look in my Mom’s face lately.  She is amazed that I am still here.  I still see the look of concern on her face as I am getting ready to undergo yet another ordeal not terribly long from now (which I will not detail until after the fact). 

     There’s been an image in my mind that I can’t stop thinking about today.  I have mentioned it in my old blog over at blogspot.  But I can’t stop thinking of my Mom and I on the top of the upstairs stair landing at my first house I ever lived in back in Santa Clara on Franklin Street.  I can still see Mom trying to help teach me how to tie my shoes in vain as that particular day of trying ended in failure.  Plus, I ended up learning how to tie my shoes which involved a compromise.  I developed a way of tying them that went against the proper way I was supposed to do it.  It puzzled my Mom, but it worked. 

     And someday, before my Mom will eventually pass away, I hope that she will see me with a woman with whom I will puzzle in much the same way when she’s teaching me things.  And then she will learn that some of my variations work.  My Mom and her will talk about them and then smile over the puzzle that is me.

     I am thinking about the music I’ve listened to over the years.  I cannot but help think that so much of that music has reflected my dreams.  As I was driving home tonight and the moon was watching over me (or was it really Sheba’s eye as I spoke to her?) and I blew kisses at it, I heard “Tiny Dancer” from Elton John on the radio and thought to myself that I am the music man she will meet in the song. 

     How have I survived?  How is it that I have not really changed all that much ever since I was a kid?  How is it that I still have the same body I had when I was in High School?  How have I managed to stand after so many personal trials I’ve gone through?  How am I surviving the ones I’m still going through today.  I can’t say what some of these things are for common sense safety reasons.  I’ve hinted at a few of them in the past.

     Am I out of the woods yet?  Is this my last decade?  Will I see another 50?  I don’t know.  My biggest fear is to go on this ride alone.  There has to be a change coming soon even with the pending changes I  know of already. 

     My birthday wish today was directed at Sheba.  I just old her that I hope she’s happy in Heaven and that she and I will be reunited again someday. 

     I have other wishes running through my mind too.  As time goes on, I dream of having some kind of advocate-whether legal/and or financial or otherwise.  I need to eventually have somebody at my side to help me stand up to outside adversity in the form of strangers seeking to take advantage of me, threatening harm to me and my way of living.  I need to have somebody who also sees through the people I meet and for them to help me more clearly see who my friends are and which people are not.  I feel as if I’m losing my touch in figuring out whom to trust anymore.  I also need to have an advocate of some sort who will protect me from internal attacks as well for preventative measure.  I have lived a life which may be irritating to some and they may be waiting to strike out at me out of jealousy.  I have done nothing to these people.  I will do nothing against these people as long as they respect the uniqueness of my situation.  I will do nothing to change their way of living as long as I am allowed my equal share of the living. 

     I have turned 50.  I have a little bit tougher a skin now than when I was 40, but I feel more vulnerable than ever.  I have found myself turning ever more inward.  If I turn further inward, I would at least like to find someone special to keep myself from turning all the way inward.  An advocate can help stem this feeling long enough until she comes in.  And then I will still want to retain them. 

     I am sorry that my writing has now turned vague.  But my situation is more precarious than you may be aware of. 

     I thank God for my Mom.  I am thankful for my friend Elena.  I am thankful for my phone friend Rick.  I wish more of you would come out of the woodwork and be back in my life in a more full-time position.  I am scared that you might think being in my life is somehow going to wreck you emotionally in some harmful way.

     I will carry on.  I guess I’ve been doing that all along.  I’m surviving.  I don’t know how, but I am.  I love all of you who love me.  I love those of you who should be in my life but are not.

     I am going to enjoy the rest of the night off.  I’m on my two -nights off of music listening so that my ears can recover from any shifts I put them through.  I am about to go off and read for the rest of the evening.  And I will dream that there are some of you who are going to come back into my life and be there on a regular basis.  I am going to dream of having that advocate to protect me.  I will keepdreaming of the lady who is going to walk into my life.  I will have my new dog.  And I will continue to love my dear Mom.  I hope I will never get into a situation where I consider killing myself again.  But now that I’ve tasted the temptation, I know that I’m not completely out of the woods.  But there’s just enough to keep myself going for the time being. 

     I send my love to all of you who bothered reading this.  There’s likely a few people who will read this with whom I don’t like and wish I never had any contact with again.  But they will do what they do anyway and get some kind of sick pleasure of this.

     I am alive.  There are others suffering greatly compared to my measly little life.  I am grateful for the little fragments of happiness I have found.  I will be grateful for the snippets in the near future. 

     And it’s like David Essex sang back in 1974.  “And where do we go from here?/Which is the way that’s clear/Still lookin’ for that blue-jeaned baby queen/Prettiest girl I ever seen/See her shake on the movie screen Jimmy Dean

     Take Care Everybody.

Marist People Impressions: Mike M. & A Few Other Things

     I read in my newspaper yesterday that a kid who was a year or two classes under me at Marist has passed away.  He was Mike M.  His older brother was Joe.  Joe graduated a year ahead of me in the Class of ’79. 

     I remember Mike.  Some very small but clear impressions came flying back to me last night as soon as I was able to clear my mind of things.  These thoughts came back to me after many years of being tucked away in my mind and with no particular reason for having to be recalled.  So, when they came back, they came back as a surprise to me. 

     Mike was like me.  He was a skinny little guy.  The one thing which was distinctly different about him in comparison to me was that he was smaller in height than me. 

     He had to have been two classes under me rather than just one because I remember his being scared of me for the longest time.  It really struck me as strange.  At first, his personality, as hidden as he kept it, seemed like an annoyance to me at first.  I almost got the impression that he was laughing at me at some times.  I still recall those early times I would see him and he’d have this shitty little smirk on his face. 

     Over time though, the smirk turned into some kind of fear.  I have no idea what set it off in him that he started to fear me.  I distinctly recall, during my Senior Year, that he had this look in his eye that I was not to be messed with. 

     Towards the end of the schoolyear and I was getting ready to graduate, something happened and I vauguely recall that I finally got to talk to him for a brief spell.  I wish I could remember just what it was that was said between us.  All I know is that I believe that I finally put him at ease concerning me.  I had to have told him something along the lines that I had no reason to want to beat the crap out of him and that I couldn’t understand why he had this fear of me. 

     I think the last time I saw him was right before I graduated.  Instead of looking at me with fear in his eyes, he was looking at me with a new-found respect. 

     In looking back on all of this last night, I was reflecting on the photo I saw of him in the obituary section.  He still looked almost like the same skinny kid that I vaguely knew in High School.  And then a thought hit me when I was thinking of that photo image.  It hit me like a fucking ton of bricks.

     In his being skinny, he was like me.  And I was hoping to God that he got to experience having a few girlfriends before he died.  I was also hoping he had one before he died and that he wasn’t alone when his heart failure hit him.  It scared the shit out of me as I was thinking about this.  

     So, here’s the irony.  I used to scare the shit out of him unwittingly.  Yet, now here he was scaring the shit out of me now that he’s dead.  I hope he had something I haven’t had yet.  If I should die soon from some weird thing, I hope I get to experience having a girlfriend before my number is called.  I just hope Mike got to experience one or a few in his lifetime because he was a skinny as well.  If he did have one or a few, I hope they were girls he actually wanted to be with and that they were nice to him.  If not, I hope he’s got somebody now that he’s in the Afterlife.  He shouldn’t have to enter that phase feeling empty. 

A Message For O.K. Cupid (Which Should Be Referred To As Shit! You’re Stupid):

     O.K., what gives with you guys who run O.K. Cupid?  You people are about as worthless a group as ever.  I guess the old saying applies that you get what you don’t pay for.  In this instance, it’s a dating site which is offered for free. 

     Today, I got an e-mail from them saying that this woman was really interested in me (likely from some computer generated thing) and then I open up the e-mail and see that it’s a female with whom I have absolutely no attraction to whatsoever.  In fact, it just played to a stereotype I’ve been fighting against for most of my life.  The computer matched me up with some large, obese looking woman. 

     When I first joined this service, I even made sure on my profile that this was not the body type I was looking for.  But they keep doing this to me anyway.  I think I just need to go go over there and take my damned profile down as completely as I can and just walk away from it altogether.  Besides, I am more endeared to the idea of meeting someone face to face and letting the chemistry start when we both see each other’s eyes.  This whole computer dating thing is so full of bullshit.  I seriously doubt that the pay sites would be much better.  If O.K. Cupid really wants to help me out, then they can do the favor of taking me off of their website entirely.  When I get another e-mail from them, I’ll see if they have an opt-out on the mailings. 

In Great Appreciation: Sylvia: 

     It had been reported over at the Hoffman Forum just after it happened, but my eyes overlooked it for some reason unbeknownst to me.  It took for me to see it in my latest issue of Rolling Stone that the singer Sylvia passed away just a short time ago. 

     For those of you who don’t know and/or haven’t read my posts on songs from 1973, Sylvia was known for two very famous songs from two different decades.  She was one half of the singing duo, Mickey & Sylvia, who were responsible for the song “Love Is Strange”.  It would go on to be covered by different people over the years.  This included Paul McCartney when Wings cut the Wild Life album in the early ’70s.  It was the album which came after 1971′s Ram. 

     Sylvia would then go on to cut another big song on her own.  It came out in 1973 and is one of the very few songs in the history of my life which still manages to make me blush whenever I hear it.  That song was “Pillow Talk”.  It was one of the most incredibly erotic songs to ever grace the Top 40 charts in the ’70s.  To put it lightly, it helped to raise my imagination to a level I never knew I was capable of having. 

     There’s been one line from that song which has always stayed with me over the years like a mantra.   

     She sings “Oooh, you can’t find love on a one-way street/it takes two to tango, takes two/two to compete”.  That sexy voice of hers was just so hot and so sultry.  It could be the dead of Winter and hearing the song would make you need to loosen your shirt. 

     She would later go on to be a major player in the coming of the Sugar Hill Gang that would produce people like Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five in the very late ’70s and early ’80s.  But I’m not qualified to talk about her time there because I never took an interest in Rap Music.  I’ll let others sing her praises during her time there. 

     When I do finally have a girlfriend one of these times, I’ve got to play “Pillow Talk” for her and see what she thinks of it.  I’ll tell her how this song made me feel as a kid back in ’73.

Music Musings On An October Evening

On Bruce Springsteen:

     I have been thinking about Bruce Springsteen a lot over the last couple of weeks.  While everybody has been wondering what will become of the remainder of The E-Street Band, something has caused me to want to zero in on something even more than what shape and sound the band will take form now that both Danny Federici and Clarence Clemons have passed away. 

     I cannot stop thinking about what direction Bruce is going to go in lyrically for some reason.  I’ve been very sensitive lately about how liberals such as myself have been reacting to how things have panned out in the late stages of President Obama’s 1st term.  There are a lot of us who are disappointed that things have not turned out to be as Obama was describing things to us on the evening he was elected. 

     Back when I was going to college, I was a student in some Rock Music classes.  I will never forget an afternoon where my teacher asked for some us, including yours truely, to meet up with him at the Junior College cafeteria for a post-class discussion on something he wanted to talk about.  The subject was about Bruce Springsteen and this discussion took place in the early ’80s.  I can’t recall if the discussion took place prior to or just after the  Nebraska album came out (1982).  It definitely took place after The River album came out (which was in 1980). 

     Anyway, my teacher, like many of us who had deep connections to music being something greater than just background music, were becoming aware that Springsteen was beginning to start the process of growing beyond a cult following and about to become something more than that.  None of us knew nor could we have predicted the magnitude of the cultural leap he was going to make in 1984 with Born In The USA.  He went from cult hero to Amercian cultural icon.  But my teacher brought up something which stayed with me ever since he uttered the words that came out of his mouth. 

     He was talking about the lyrical direction he was going to go into.  We were all talking about the subject matter Springsteen uses for his themes and of some of the political implications which was underneath the surface of his music.  Springsteen was always creating characterizations and using those characters to represent something.  My teacher got bold enough to say that Springsteen was going to eventually do an album where some of the lyrics were going to suggest some answers or solutions to some of the plights being depicted in the characters of his songs. 

     It was at this time that I was developing the awareness that the best artists don’t provide answers.  They do, however, ask the most important and probing questions which cause us to think about hwere we are at as a society.  I remember being in that discussion with that teacher of mine and thinking of how odd it would have been for Springsteen to suggest answers to people.  It would have reduced his Art to topicality instead of  the universal thematic probings.  This was the beauty of Nebraska.  It was a reaction to the cold wind which began blowing through America during the Reagan Era without saying it directly.  The Nebraska album remains completely relevant today because that cold wind continues to blow through America while President Obama attempts to ride out this seemingly never-ending storm.

     Where does Bruce go from here?  This is what I keep wondering.  How does one deal lyrically with the Rise of the Tea Party, Obama’s attempts at trying to compromise with Radical Right Republican Party which will not compromise with him, Obama’s backing off of some of the environmental improvement promises he made, the economy not improving, letting a former major bank person run a very important position in government, among many others? 

     But the one thing I keep coming back to the most is that Obama said he was going to change the culture in Washington and that things were going to not be so poisonous.  If anything, it has gotten more posionous. 

     With all of this in mind and the fact that we all don’t know where we are headed, we are looking to political leaders for answers.  Somebody has to rise above all of this and really change things or will we allow disaster to force the change upon us.  Will the guarantee of a second term (if re-elected) cause the change Obama said he was seeking occur?  I will end up voting for Obama once again even though I’m disappointed as to the lack of great change.

     Against this backdrop, I have to say that I don’t want Bruce Springsteen (nor Bob Dylan for that matter) to attempt to provide answers.  I want Bruce to bring up the questions that people or even the politicians up on the Hill are too much of a pussy to bring up.  Will it take for an artist to bring up questions that probe so far and touch the human heart and conscious mind so deeply that it makes people come to an epiphany in order to cause needed change. 

     Does Bruce have another Nebraska in him and can he make an album of that caliber that is relevant to these specific times of the Obama Age while still retaining a universality which will carry the album to future generations? 

     I remember when I saw Springsteen perform an acoustic show during The Ghost Of Tom Joad Tour in San Jose in a benefit for The Steinbeck Center.  He brought up a spiritual idea that hit me like a ton of bricks.  It was the idea that perhaps we are all a part of one union when we die and that everything we do is connected to one another.  The things we do to each other here is connected to the whole of one on the other side.  And when I was thinking about this spiritual element, I also saw a political element as well.  I saw a form of Socialism that was not totalititarian.  It was the idea that we are all a community.  We are a world community and we are a spiritual community and we are all connected.  Why is our interconnectedness being attacked so much nowadays?  If it is not a Socialism, is it the idea that all of the colors will eventually bleed into one (like Bono once sang) as we attain spiritual and conscious evolution?  Will it take evolutionary growth for us to come to self and macro- realization?  Will it happen before we kill ourselves and the planet off?

     Something as simple as saying we do need to give support to other countries in order that they may be given reason to become our friends and not our enemies seems to escape so many politicians right now.  And at the same time, we continue to fight in a war which is a quagmire and has no final solution to offer so that peace may come at hand there?

     I want Springsteen to keep probing and asking questions.  How is it that I keep feeling like the America I grew up thinking existed does not, in fact, exist?  How is it that a guy like me has become intrigued by the idea of a Western European type Socialism?  Hell, we don’t even have high-speed rail in this country while the Europeans can get around anywhere with speed and ease.

     Can Springsteen envision that it may take some kind of a disaster in order to affect major values changes in this country where we begin to value our diversity?  Can he write about something like this or am I asking too much?   

     I don’t want Springsteen to give answers because we haven’t found the solutions yet on our own.  This is the last vestige of his stardom where he’s still one of us.  He would probably readily admit that he hasn’t found any solutions that are right in front of him on a daily basis.  Why would I want him to do that on a greater level?  Let him do what he does best.  He has band issues he has to deal with first. 

The Led Zeppelin Release Which Didn’t Happen:  Word hit at the Hoffman Forum that a Led Zeppelin release which was supposed to have been forthcoming in the next few weeks was ditched.  It was to be a DVD/CD release.  A person who supposedly has a connection to (likely) Robert Plant or Jason Bonham was the one who confirmed the ditching. 

     We know that the O2 Reunion Show was supposed to have been worked on.  However, the source said the O2 Show was not what was supposed to be released.  So now everybody is hazarding to guess what it was.  A couple of the leading candidates for what it was include something to do with the 40th Anniversary of Led Zeppelin IV, some show from the ’71 period or the Holy Grail project everybody, including myself wishes for, something from the Japan ’71 Tour.

     I am taking an edicated guess here as to who killed this release.  Since it was not the O2 Reunion Show, it could not have been Jason Bonham.  I can’t imagine, when all is said and done, that Jason would really have any say over an archive project which involved a performance by his late Father.  However, Robert Plant has a history of not being too keen on looking back on his past and talking about Led Zeppelin too much since he has been concentrating on his solo career.  I am guessing that it was Robert Plant who killed this project.  I don’t think it was Jimmy Page.  Strangely enough, I don’t think Page killed it because he was not the one to have killed a Yardbirds DVD from Reelin’ In The Years Productions.  It was Jeff Beck. 

     I really hope that somebody can get Robert to change his mind and get this thing rescheduled for some point in 2012. 

Sources, The Hoffman Forum & IMWAN:

     Things have been getting testy over at the Hoffman Forum and over at IMWAN over the past few months over people who have been coming out of the woodwork saying that they are connected and telling people about releases which may or may not be getting released.  It has caused some people to get a little heated in their discussions at the respective forums.

     I am addressing this to people at both forums.  You guys have to start using a little more tact and dipolomacy when you attempt to publically vet(t?) people to see if they pass muster as far as their legitimacy goes.  I know for a fact that there are a few people at each of those forums who have had or currently have industry contacts.  The people who practice their politesse well know how to toe the line while gently allowing some information to get across without getting either party into any major trouble. 

     Those who are under orders not to reveal things are not obligated to do so.  You need to respect this.  Take the clues that they give you and draw your own conclusions carefully and without public rift.  Otherwise, there are industy people who are goiung to shut you out completely.  And if you want to fuck up completely, you can do like one person who used to frequent both forums and make a public nuisance of himself, rip company executives by name publically and with no diplomatic tact and end up being considered a pariah of both forums who will no longer have any legitimacy in the eyes of anybody who reads them. 

     People, you are forgetting the value of press releases when they are released.  This is not a game of competition to see who gets the first scoop.  You have to frame what you are piecing together so that you can compare and contrast what gets revealed in the press releases.  Then you can go ahead and bitch and moan about whether the product meets your standards of what you expected as far as material goes, etc. 

     I can speak for myself.  Over the years, a lot of years, I have been told things I have been asked not to reveal.  I will not reveal them because I respect the people who told me these things.  I also realize that things are subject to to change.  Over time, you will learn a lot more as you keep your mouth shut.  You might even be trusted to have even more information come your way that is actually true.  You will also meet people who are full of shit and don’t have any connections at all.  This is all the more important why you should not become a magnet.  Instead, you should be an indicator of subtle change.  People won’t be angry with you-whether they be industry people, artists, website hosts and your fellow forum members.

     To those people who are actually legitimate sources and who come on to music forums revealing news, you have a responsibility to be tactful as well.  Common courtesy and definite disclaimers will definitely help your cause and will also cut down on the number of people who take it upon themselves to want to knock you off of your perch.  If you say it nice and not sounding like you come from on High, then people will be more likely to take your words in measured repose and consider them.  Let some time pass and see if your words pan out.  If they do, you will become an accepted member of (especially) the Hoffman Forum and actually be come a valued member.  You have to keep in mind that a lot of people have been burned in the past-including myself. 

     We’ve had people who  re insiders telling us about The Rolling Stones, Paul McCartney and now Led Zeppelin releases.  I mean, c’mon people.  Just relax and take a nice deep breath.  It’s part and parcel of being on a music forum.   

     Now, if we can just do something about those posters who think that their opinion only is all that matters!!!!!   

Aerosmith-Rocks: 35th Anniversary Edition from Sony/Japan: 

     Word is starting to surface that the beginning of November is going to bring fans a 2-CD special edition of Rocks.  There’s a lot of hope going around that this thing is going to get a domestic U.S. release.  I am now writing this to show my support for this to become a reality.  This album, considered their best by many fans, was a huge musical milestone for music listeners in the ’70s.  It had tremendous impact in the United States.  Regardless of dwindling sales numbers for physical product here in the U.S., it would be totally illogical for this not to get a domestic release.  Your biggest market may be the people who were teenagers back then who will want to get a copy of this.  Plus, the idea of the extra CD containing studio outtakes, alternates and live material is something which is making fans salivate.  It’s just that not all fans are aware of the expensive Japanese market nor are all fans willing to pay the money to get Japanese imports.  So please, Sony.  Make this title available as a domestic U.S. release.  You will likely get more for your returns. 

     Speaking for myself personally, I am greatly hoping that Mark Wilder will be doing the remastering chores on this rather than Joseph Palmaccio.  His masterings are way too loud and high-end piercing.  Let it be Wilder.

The Continuing Adventures of 6th Grade-1973-1974

Aiming For Sainthood And Falling Short Miserably:

     You’ve got to promise me one thing.  I’m about to tell you something and I want you to try to keep yourself from laughing.  I am admitting here and now that, yours truely, was once an Altar Boy.  Yes, now stop the giggles.  It’s true.  This filled with lust kid actually served alongside the people making serious serious attempts at Divinity.  Unfortunately, like us, they were failing miserably in their own way. 

     I joined up to be an Altar Boy for the same reason that my other good friends in my class did.  It was a great way to be able to cut out of class every once in a while.  The magic words, “Father So-and-So said he needs us to be there to help him” usually worked like a charm.  Most of the time, it was even better than asking for permission to go take a leak.  But there were drawbacks to the gig too.  You actually had to serve the Masses and do all of the things associated with it. 

     If you don’t think there wasn’t a hierarchy involved in serving Masses, then I have news for you.  There was.  It was reality.  The social hierarchy from the classroom and the playground carried right over into the Altar Boy Society.  It would eventually involved the lowest guys (like me) ending up having to drag our asses out of bed at 5:00 a.m. to go serve a 6:00 a.m. Mass which was enough to put the pissfire into you no matter how good a kid you were (or at least you were putting on as being).    I got roped into this dirty little scheme once too many times in my two years I did this gig and it was to cause me to quit at some point in very late 6th Grade or early 7th Grade.  It got to the point that good ol’ Steve will do it while the other guys would get the cushy during school hours gigs of various things.  It became an easy mantra for the other guys to follow.  They’d blow off the late phone calls from the desperate priests asking for servers until only I was left.   

     So what was being an Altar Boy like in the ’70s?  It was actually pretty rowdy to tell you the truth.  Our priests at St. Clare’s had this habit of leaving the big locked vault area open where they stored all of the important stuff for the church functions and Masses.  The thing that got raided the most inside that vault were the sacramental Hosts (the little wafers) and the sacramental wine.  It always kind of blew our minds that any wine was usually left in there.  Between the alcoholic priests we had and us kids going in to raid it, it was a wonder any was usually left.  I do recall a few times where the stock of it was dangerously low.  We would have had to call on Jesus himself to pull off a miracle, but I guess somebody would break down and go get some wine from somewhere to replenish things for the services. 

     Ah yes!  I still remember the wine and Host parties we used to throw in back of the church when the priests weren’t around and we were playing hooky from school on the conceit that we were needed for duties.  I remember David, Danny and Alan especially making the time memorable ones.  They developed a great propensity for Host throwing contests which involved standing a distance from a waiting buddy of yours who had his mouth open.  One guy would flick the Host with his fingers and fling it as far as he could to get it into your mouth.  And then you gulped another one down if it made it in.  The distances got further and further until you noticed that the Hosts were getting a little too far down in quantity.  When they did, you didn’t want to get in trouble over hoarding them for yourself.  I don’t think any of us ever got caught. 

     The craziness didn’t stop there though.  When we actually served the Masses, the guys got pretty bold with each other when the priests weren’t looking.  We all got pretty good at trying to make each other laugh.  We all developed a particular fondness for flipping each other off under the hood of the light white garmint that went over our cassocks.  I can’t even begin to count the number of times we all flipped each other off and mouthed “Fuck You” to each other during Masses while keeping it from the priests and the people sitting in the pews at Mass. 

     Now, I can’t recall if it was Alan or Danny who brainstormed this idea, but it was a great one.  It was reserved for when you had to go through the (forgive me) hell of having to serve a 6:00 a.m. Mass and you were pissed off beyond belief that you had to drag your ass out of your warm bed to serve this Mass, wait for the start of your class day to begin and then ride out the rest of your schoolday and wonder why you became an Altar Boy to begin with. 

     I was witness to one Mass that we both had to serve one time when Alan (I’m pretty sure it was him) decided to have some fun at one of the Father’s expense.  I’m pretty sure it was poor Father Delucci (who was the biggest sweetheart of all of the priests we had when I was going to school there).  On the other side of the back of St. Clare’s Church (the complete opposite area where we used to throw the wine and Host parties) was where the microphone mixing board was for the mics used for the Masses.  The main microphone was the one at the Lecturne (sp?) where the priest would serve some of the Mass and give the mid-Mass lecture. 

     Well, Alan decided to have some fun.  Before Mass started, he snuck over to the mixing board and he turned the volume up on the microphone at the Lecturne.  When Father Delucci or Father Prendaville (? was that his name?  Remember him?  He had the personality of a bread board) went to start speaking, the feedback was ferocious.  At 6:00 in the morning, this sound would wake up the deaf and cut right to the core of your senses and patience.  I was getting sore ribs from holding back the wave of uproarious laughter that was attempting to erupt from within me.  I mean, I was just dying inside.  This was really worth it.  Father kept trying to speak, but the thing just kept giving him fits.  And then Alan, with a prompt from Father, went back to the mixing board and pulled off another genius thing (in my mind).  He wasn’t content to just mix things back to an acceptable level.  This time, he turned the mixer way down so that people could barely hear him speak at all.  Now, by this time, my giggles are starting to leak out of me in loud short spurts.  And I think finally what happened was that Father took things into his own hands and fixed the mixer for himself.  That ended the fun for the morning for us. 

     However, I remembered that incident for myself and made a little note of it to keep it in the back of my mind.  You see, when I was starting to get fed up with being left on the short end of the stick by my buddies by serving these morning Masses, I was going to finally get back at it all too.  And right towards the very end of my tether with being an Altar Boy, I pulled the same thing on one of the priests.  I can’t remember if it was Father Delucci or if it was stuffy, short-tempered Father Tait.  I just went over to the mixer, turned up the volume and when he started speaking, it really wailed.  He took a moment or two off of saying the Mass and he went and fixed it himself.   

     I served weddings and funerals.  Funerals were a real downer for obvious reasons.  I didn’t know the people who had croaked and it was a weird feeling to be knowing that, withinside the casket, I was standing to some dead guy or lady that I never knew before.  It was a really creepy feeling.  Now, weddings on the other hand, were sometimes really cool.  My fondness for them ran mostly because I sometimes got paid by the groom for serving the Mass.  Groovy!  At least I pocketed some dough to buy some more great record albums with.  That was my take on it.  But I did enjoy watching  a few of the guys getting hitched though.  I’d see them marrying some chick and I’d think to myself that I hoped it would happen to me someday. 

     There was one wedding that I particularly recall with genuine fondness because I caught the bride and groom looking at me at the very right moment during their special ceremony.  As we were all gazing at each other, I winked one of my eyes at the both of them on purpose while the priest did n’t notice and it made the groom choke up with happiness.  This was one of the very few times I really was happy that I was doing what I was doing at the moment.  I hope those two are still married and alive. 

     Did you notice that I titled this section Aiming For Sainthood and Falling Short Miserably?  I can tell you another one of the reasons why I failed in the Sainthood department.  Even while I was serving Mass, quite a few times being the only one to be serving a Mass, it still didn’t stop me from thinking about beautiful naked girls.  I was lusting all of the time.  Hell!  I still do and I know for certain I’m not a Saint by now. 

     I recall one particular time very well.  I remember serving a funeral one time and I was kind of freaked out with the whole morbidity feeling which was surrounding me.  So, I started daydreaming a little bit and started thinking about some lovely naked lady (probably a Star Trek lady,  Britt Eklund or some such object of desire).  I was minding my own business when Father somebody (I can’t recall whom) got out the Holy Water blessing wand and started doing his thing with it.  Let me just say that my lovely little thought of touching some nice big breasts was interrupted by a douse of Holy Water from the backhand of the ceremonial tossing around of the water.  It damned near hit me in the eye and it ruined the rest of the service for me.  And don’t get me started on the incense.  Sometimes, they would have that incense wand smoking like Mt. St Helen’s and my nose and eyes would just get overwhelmed.   

     I have to say that of all of the priests I knew at St. Clare’s at the time I went to school there, I really dug Father Delucci the most.  He was the only guy who came closest to being cool like the nuns in my eyes.  He was as sweet as the day was long.  He was not harmful in any way.  His only problem was that he was a bit of a lush like the other priests at the time.  I saw him, like Father Monaghan, come into church at times looking like he’d been on a bender.  The difference was that his sweetness always stayed with him.  I never once saw him act erratically.

     I brought him to tears once.  He asked me why I let my classmates mooch food off of me when I was the one who need to eat the most of all of us in my class.  I said something along the lines of, “I liked to help out my friends even though I knew they were mooching off of me because I knew there were going to be times when they would forget to bring something to eat.”  But I said something else that went a lot deeper than that.  It had to do with my hoping that they would remember these things I did for them someday.  All I know is that it brought him to tears.  He told my Mom and Dad about it and how profoundly he was affected by what I said.  He’s in Heaven now and I’m sure he remembers the exact wording of things, but I hope he’s also cracking up with laughter that my Mom and Dad started to more frequently tell me to not let the guys mooch off of me so much.  This was a constant battle that went on until I finally graduated from 8th Grade. 

     I never trusted Father Monaghan.  And besides, after the infamous sex lecture, I knew this guy was completely out of it and could be run over pretty easily.  There was one other guy and I can’t remember exactly who he was but he had no personality whatsoever.  I think it was because he was pretty stiff when he was loaded too.  And then there was Father Tait.  At first, I liked him.  He seemed a little different.  But then I found out that he was temperamental and liked to boss people around a bit.

     I found out about what he was really like when I invited him over to dinner at my parent’s house one night.  My Mom and Dad were really friendly with the  Jesuits from over at the University of Santa Clara.  For starters, the priests at the University were so much more laid back and confident about everything.  Plus, they never treated people like dirt.  St. Clare’s had Jesuit priests, but we seemed to get the defective ones and Father Tait was definitely defective.  At dinner that night, Father Tait ended up turning off my parents and the priests we were very friendly with from the University.  He argued and disagreed about everything that night.  My opinion of him changed from that night on. 

     It all came to a head at some time in 1974 or 1975.  It may have been when I started 7th Grade or it may have been towards the end of 6th Grade.  I really can’t recall exactly.  But I was over hanging out in front of St. Clare’s Church when Father Tait came walking around complaining that he was having a hard time finding us guys to serve an early Mass for him and in general.  So, right in front of a few of my classmates and a few other kids, he got on me about serving more Masses and I told him that I was tired of serving more Masses and to find somebody else.  He made the mistake of starting to raise his voice at me.  This was a surefire way to get me to raise mine when I was feeling a little put-out about being pushed around by everybody for being forced into being a little Saintboy.  He told me he wanted me to serve a Mass with him.  I told him no and started getting angry too.  He started telling me how I was sinning for raising my voice at a priest such as him.  I wasn’t taking this shit from him.  I didn’t like him anymore after the poor showing he made at the dinner I invited him to.  He was still raising hell with me as he started walking away from me.  I was still steaming.  He kept shouting at me while he was walking away from me.  That’s when I did it.  I had enough.  Right in front of my classmates, I flipped one nice big bird to him as a thank you for the great conversation we were having.  He caught the very end of my flipping him off and he said I was going to Hell.  I figured I might as well enjoy the ride, you know? 

     It’s weird though.  You’d have thought he would have told my parents, but I never heard a word about it from Mom or Dad.  I think what it was is that Father Tait was kind of getting the idea that he wasn’t very popular anyway and he probably figured there wasn’t any point in doing anything about it.

     And so came the end of my career as an Altar Boy.  In some regards, it was just as excruciating as being a school-crossing guard.  I had some fun when it came to cutting classes, but I just wasn’t made out for it.  I was thinking about girls and music too much. 

     In my heart I had quit.  I think from 7th Grade on, I never served any Masses anymore even though I was still considered an Altar Boy.  I still went to all of the Altar Boy Picnics-even the one for 8th Grade.  I still occasionally had to help out the priests with some chore something or other in 7th and 8th Grade, but my career was mercifully over. 

     My experiences with the priests at St. Clare’s made me a bigger fan of the nuns than ever before.  They just did not appear to be as messed up as the priests were and they were sure a lot more at ease about things.  Plus, we were all blessed to have had Sister Regina Marie amongst us.  She was the living embodiment of a crack-up good time and a true Saint as there ever was in the entire Santa Clara Valley.  When we lost her, we lost one of the dearest people to have ever graced this planet.

More Great AM Platters From The Fall of ’73

     -The Allman Brothers-”Ramblin’ Man”:  It was inevitable in my household that I was to eventually discover The Allman Brothers in my own way.  I would hear Allman Brothers music and/Gregg Allman’s great first solo album wafting from the rooms of both of my older brothers.  So, Duane’s influence was beginning a slow journey to my consciousness. 

     Here was an example of a song which was helped to being developed by Duane before his untimely passing.  In fact, on the Duane Era box set which had been planned and not released, there was supposed to have been an early version (demo perhaps?) of “Ramblin’ Man” with Duane on it.  I ended up discovering this song when it became a milion selling smash and did not realize the history behind this song.  Obviously, I also had no idea of the kind of impact the discovery of Duane was to have on me over the next few years.  It would eventually blossom into a passion as the years went by and I had left Santa Clara.

     Being the screwball that I was, I used to frequently think of Bugs Bunny dancing with a bunch of Egyptian mummies (like was seen in a scene from a Bugs Bunny cartoon which took place in front of, I believe, a moving cigarette billboard during the instrumental outro passage of the song where Dicky Betts was just flying. 

     As the years have passed, the Brothers and Sisters album is the only post-Duane album I ever fully took to.  His influence is all over the album that it can’t be ignored. 

     -Roberta Flack-”Killing Me Softly”:  I’ll say this upfront.  I sang along to this song and enjoyed it to a point.  But it had the misfortune of being saddled in between three great songs.  It came after “The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face” and her great duet with the late Donny Hathaway “Where Is The Love?”.  It came before “Feel Like Makin’ Love” which was to come out in the Summer of ’74 and completely take me away. 

     I just don’t think I appreciated this song as much as I could have when it came out.  It has taken for me to be an adult to really appreciate the fact that this was part of the strong streak of songs she put in in the early to mid-’70s.  I actually went through a period in the late ’70s and into the ’80s where I kind of disavowed having once enjoyed this song.  But things have come full-circle now and I feel a lot better for taking it to heart like I should. 

     -The Doobie Brothers-”China Grove”:  Up to this point in time, this was the rocker from them that I really began to count on.  I really loved it and it cemented my feelings of contentment with the fact that they were  a San Jose band.  It made me feel so good that they were maintaining such equally good consistency.  It wasn’t going to slow down anytime soon either. 

     -Aretha Franklin-”Until You Come Back To Me (That’s What I’m Gonna Do)”:  This was the song which really struck me as a change of pace from Aretha.  But that voice, baby!  That voice always pulled a person through.  It didn’t matter, if over the years, people looked back on this song as perhaps not being one of her stronger cuts. 

     -The Pointer Sisters-”Yes We Can Can”:  This thing had Soul and Funk to burn as far as I was concerned.  It was a little powder-keg of a little song which just kept building up and up.  I loved it.  The guitar chops and the drumming kept the groove while the girls could just fly over it and get down as much as they wanted with it.  They would really knock me out once again later in the decade with a song written by somebody who was going to take over my life just as I moved back to Eugene. 

     -Loggin & Messina-”My Music”:  This was a great footstomper.  I loved the attitude behind the song because it was my attitude too.  Just give me the music and let me live through it.  It was my motto then and it still is now. 

     -Carpenters-”Top Of The World”:  A lot of people were still writing off Karen and the music of her brother by the time this single hit the charts and climbed upwards.  It still kind of gets me angry that myself and others had to kind of carry around Karen like she was our own special secret for fear that we would be put down by the people who loved to rip the both of them apart.  They did what they did and they did it well. 

     -Barbra Streisand-”The Way We Were”:  When this thing hit and made it to what I believe was the top of the charts, you could get away from hearing this song at least once a night on the radio back then.  I’m still trying to come to grips about how I really feel about this song.  I think that some of it comes from my still trying to come to grips to how I feel about Streisand and her place in music history.  I can’t doubt her voice.  God knows, I heard the Hello Dolly OST album enough back in the late ’60s. 

     -The Staple Singers-”If You’re Ready (Come Go With Me):  This song spilled over into the early stages of 1974.  This is still my personal favorite single that the Staples ever released.  It was the guitar work that you find emanating from Pops which put its hooks in me permanantly.  There was one other thing, it was the whole idea of God accepting you even if you were a troublemaker.  This whole idea appealed to me at the time I was thinking that I was bucking the Catholic System and thinking, in my own mind, that I was some form of troublemaker too.  What really kills me is that this song gets overlooked because of the long shadow cast by the equally fantastic “I’ll Take You There” from 1972.  I just wish to God that ”If You’re Ready (Come Go With Me)” would get played more often by people nowadays.  Seriously, programmers and music listeners, you don’t know what you’re missing if you’ve never heard this one before.  I’d love to have Keith Richards break down all of the rhthym guitar parts on this one for me if he’s a fan of this one.  I know he’s a huge fan of Pops.  I sure miss Pops. 

     -Ann Peebles-”I Can’t Stand The Rain”:  This is another one which got released at the tail-end of ’73 and spilled over into early ’74.  It’s a deep Soul song sung for people who understand the nature of love left behind and yearned for.  I am so glad that I eventually discovered the whole album from which this song came from many years later.  It’s great stuff. 

     -Art Garfunkel-”Claire”:  It’s three years past “Bride Over Troubled Water” at the time this was released and, my God, that angelic voice was still there.  If you don’t believe me, then just listen to the final big buildup at the end of the song.  A person can never tire of a voice like Artie’s. 

     -Bobby Boris Pickett-”The Monster Mash”:  The Fall of ’73 would not have been what it was without the re-release of this song from the ’60s back onto the charts once again.  It fit the giddiness of my feelings at the time, my screwball nature and the fact that I was living off of a steady diet of Bob Wilkins’ Creature Features on Channel 2 during the weekends.  Between this and “Frankenstein” from Edgar Winter Group, Halloween of ’73 was especially sweet.  Man, it was great to be a kid back then!

Music Sweet Music and A School Thought

     I’m in a state of mind right now where I want to hammer out another post where my thoughts are, more or less, current.  I’m still thinking about my old days.  It’s just that I don’t feel like writing about them right now-with a few exceptions. 

Box Set Season:

     The time has rolled around for pre-orders for the big year-end box sets from the record companies.  I am putting in for my share of them once again like so many music lovers do.  As of this posting, I have put in for:

     -Jimi Hendrix-Winterland ’68

     -Miles Davis Quintet: Bootleg-Live In Europe 1967

     -Pink Floyd-Dark Side of the Moon: Immersion Edition

     -Pink Floyd-Wish You Were Here: Immersion Edition

     -The Who-Quadrophenia: Director’s Cut

     -Jethro Tull-Aqualung: 40th Anniversary Super Deluxe Edition

     I will be putting in pre-orders for:

     -The Doors-L.A. Woman: 4oth Anniversary Edition Super Deluxe Edition (which has now just been announced as being expanded to 5-CDs instead of 4)

     -The Rolling Stones-Some Girls: Super Deluxe Edition (word has it that somebody over at the IORR.org site has a friend involved in the project and that it is supposed to come out at about Christmas).  Ron Wood has mentioned on the radio that this is coming out soon. 

     I may put in for the Beach Boys-Smile Box Set as the time draws nearer for when it’s actually released.  I still haven’t been able to sort everything out yet, but I may possibly settle for the 2-CD Deluxe Edition release of it as well.  I haven’t read all of the particulars, but there may be content that is unique to the 2-CD set not on the box set.  Don’t quote me on that because I’m not 100% certain.  My biggest area of interest with The Beach Boys goes up to and including Pet Sounds.  But I’ve heard Jivin’ Johnn play bootlegs from the Smile Sessions over the years on his program and have been held captive enough by the material to possibly make the investment.  I’ll just have to see.  If the box sells out before I get it, then the 2-disc set will be my consolation prize. 

     I passed on The Grateful Dead-Complete Europe ’72 European Tour Box Set earlier this year because I knew it was going to come down to the old Star Trek saying by Spock of “The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.”  It’s a (I believe) 73 CD box set and I knew I had some other gems by different bands coming out that I was also going to need.  Even the standard edition of the 73 disc set was too much, so I settled for the Europe ’72 Vol. 2 2-CD set with the legendary 60 minute “Dark Star” that segues into “The Other One” as my consolation prize.  I am hoping that next year, I’m going to get rewarded with a special package for the Veneta ’72 shows that everybody has been clamoring for an official release of and has yet to surface. 

     I am still in a state of shock that I am not going to pick up nary a disc nor special edition (or single disc reissue for that matter) of the Achtung Baby Deluxe Editions from U2.  They really dropped the ball on this box in a big way.  If they do get around to doing Rattle and Hum, I hope they make up for it with a lot of unreleased live material from the band from the time of the Joshua Tree Tour.  I know that I will not be getting anything from Pop.  I consider it to be their worst album they’ve ever done.  In fact, my late friend Cory (who used to work over at CD World), once took his scanner and copied the font and typeset which was used for the Pop album and he covered over a promo of the album which he had hanging in the office with the word “Crap” in the place of Pop.  He summed up my feelings about it, that’s for certain. 

     I am a bit alarmed by how the record companies are raising box set prices up more than they were last year.  I would hope that they level out.

     Between this and other odds and end releases, my 4th Quarter will be an expensive one as per usual. 

     In the few days since I’ve left this post in my Save file until I actually post it, Rhino Handmade has announced a 2-CD special box of Iron Butterfly-Fillmore East 1968.  So, I’m going to add that one to the pile too.

     I had also forgotten to mention another box.  There’s a Howlin’ Wolf box called Somkestack Lightning/The Complete Chess Masters (1951-1960) coming out from Hip-O Select.  Hip-O Select has it slated for October 18th, but retailers will get it about a month later. 

Reelin’ In The Years Productions:  I wish to give a shout-out to a guy named David Peck over at Reelin’ In The Years Productions.  It’s a company that specializes in music DVDs.  People, if you’ve never been certain about music DVDs, then let me put you at ease about this outfit.  They do everything the way it should be done.

     David Peck is the main guy behind Reelin’ In The Years.  What sets this guy apart from a lot of others is that he’s a real fan of the music he pieces together for us to view.  He’s one of us who also happens to make a living dealing with the bullshit which one must go through in order to create these little pieces of art.  He not only oversees the DVDs in pre and post production, he also goes through the living hell of going through managers, artists and associated companies to get permission and to clear licenses to be able to sell the final product to the market. 

     When you hold the final product in your hands, you are guaranteed that you are going to see vintage footage of artists when they were in their prime.  He doesn’t suffer the fake shit like the majority of us don’t either.  And I can’t emphasize this next point enough.  A lot of DVDs which show documentaries on bands will only show excerpted clips because it was the only way a company or outfit was able to license.  David makes sure you get full-length clips of the bands from when they were in their prime. 

     As a result, when you pick up their great Jazz Icons releases such as the ones they’ve done on John Coltrane, Thelonious Monk and the classic Dave Brubeck Quartet, you will see full concerts presented in their entirety of what was presented to audiences back in the day. 

     If you pick up any of the great ones, they’ve done on Motown artists, you’ll get a combination of combined complete footage and great interviews with the artists when it was possible.

    They have released, without question, the defintive documentary on Curtis Mayfield which will ever be done. 

     Late last year, Reelin’ In The Years released individually and as a complete box set a series of theirs called The British Invasion in which they concentrated DVDs on specific bands from The British Invasion who tend to get overlooked in great Beatles, Rolling Stones, The Who and & Kinks mountaintops which has a tendency to divert our attention away from the lesser known but no less effective or important (in their own way) elements of what made up The British Invasion of the early to mid-60s. 

     Well, we damned near lost Reelin’ In The Years because of the shitty economic times we are living through and because of some unfortunate things which happened to David as a result of the general shakiness of the industry at large.  It is with great relief that Reelin’ In The Years Productions is now back on their feet again with new partnerships to help them through so that us consumers can see more definitive releases from them once again. 

     For the Jazz Icons releases, they have no partnered up with Mosaic.  We have, among others coming soon, more releases from John Coltrane and Thelonious Monk.  And on the popular music side of things, they have teamed up with what has become the mighty Eagle Rock DVD people.  They have been at the forefront of a lot of Rock DVDs with their special Albums series that they’ve been doing over the years. 

     So, I  just wanted to tell  my friends and anybody who happens to be reading out there to support anything that Reelin’ In The Years puts out that happens to catch your interest.  I wouldn’t bother to be writing about them here on my blog if I didn’t believe in what David does 100%.  Their DVDs are available over at Amazon, CD Universe and at any independent store who’s worth their weight in anything.  Plus, the prices of their DVDs are among the most reasonable, in fact, even downright a bargain in the marketplace today.  Please support them, won’t you?  You can now start pre-ordering their upcoming new Hollies-Look Through Any Window-1963-1974 at you favorite online retailers.

Bellarmine:  I was over picking up the mail for my Mom and one of my brothers the other day over at my Mom’s and I noticed that the new alumni magazine for the guys who graduated from Bellarmine College Prep in San Jose arrived.  I took a glance inside and was glued to the article on the new building structures that are being built on the canvas.

     For starters, I’m amazed that anybody could gather the money during these tough economic times to be able to do some of the apparently massive restructuring of the campus going on there.  And the other thing that crossed my mind is the question “Am I going to even recognize the campus the next time I visit there?” 

     Though it was after my great years of Grade School at St. Clare’s, I do have a lot of memories invested in Bellarmine that are a part of me.  Some of the memories are wistful.  Some of them are mindful.  A good chunk of them are filled with regeret over what might have been had I not moved back up to Oregon in ’78 and actually gone through my Junior and Senior years there. 

     There are always two things which greatly stand out to me about my two year span of time at Bellarmine.  It was the place where I got the best education I’ve ever had-bar none.  Nothing even comes close (Lane Community College in Eugene is 2nd by a good distance).  It was also the place where the soundtrack of my times collided with the clarity of vision I developed in my realization that things were not going on the usual path for me. 

     I spent a good number of years looking back in hate upon my times at Bellarmine.  Would I say that they were great times?  No.  But the education part to go with the fact that the teachers there definitely knew and respected the uniqueness of the path of my life.  As a result, they allowed me to pursue my vision (whatever it was) even though they allowed me the privacy of my own inner hell.  That said, the teachers also kept an eye to make sure nobody did any harm to me as well.  So now, I look back upon Bellarmine as a time which I accept more even though I wish I didn’t have to go through the things I did when I was there.  I will eventually tell my story of my times there in more detail.  Let me just leave you with this though.  I don’t believe I’ve ever been in an academic institution where I had more respect earned and recognized than at Bellarmine.  I can’t say that about my beloved St. Clare’s and I can very obviously say that about my time at the University of Oregon.  Churchill High and Marist High were laughable experiences for me as far as academics go.  Lane Community College was unique in some regards.  It was different in regards that they had an academically nurturing environment even though I still felt essentially alone there.  I was thankful that I knew one very great teacher who became a friend of mine who helped to make LCC memorable. 

     When I get back for a visit and see Bellarmine again, how is what I’m going to see with my own eyes going to affect the thoughts that I will have in my head of all of the things I went through when I was there?

     Anyway, I have procrastinated long enough over this post.  I’ve got to title this thing and get it posted.   I have a ton of other things written down on a piece of paper that I wanted to get to.  I’ll save it for later and another post.